Insert Title Here.

Have you ever titled something before it was fully written? Or tried to fully develop an introduction to something that has yet to be completed?

I sometimes find it odd that we have been taught to be able to title something before we have even fully understood what it is that we have as a whole.

At the tender age of 20 {soon to be 21} I feel as though the rest of my life is dependent on every single choice I make. Maybe not menial, daily decisions {ie: Do I order this third coffee?} But as each day speeds past, I feel as though there is this immeasurable weight pressing down on my shoulders, tapping on my cheek saying : "when are you going to make things happen?"

. . .

I once read somewhere:

"Some of the most fascinating 40 year olds I know still don't know what they want to be when they grow up."

It isn't so much that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

I know who I want to be.

Some days I need convincing that those two things will always be intrinsically tied together. But I am still trying to figure so much of it out.

I find a lot of the figuring for me comes from pianos, guitars, drums, basses, violins, strings and voices. I'm off to another show.

Peas, Luhv & figuring out,

Brieanne

A Place Built To Carry Voices

As I drove home, there was a warm orange aura that seemed to be hugging Calgary. In actuality, it's the combination of the light snow dust falling all across Calgary and the thousands of twinkling house lights that turn our sky a soothing shade of orange. Metaphorically, I think the city is being hugged by this warm aura because of the massive amount of love radiating out of Knox United Church.

The pews of the United church creaked and cracked while mitten, toque and winter jacket clad Calgarians filed their way into their seats. For some, this would be their first time experiencing a live show from the wooden seats of the holy establishment. However, for me, I was lucky enough to know just what the old vaulted ceilings had in store for me.

A three-piece band named The Crackling began the flood of amazing music. The band actually consists of 3 of the 4 members of Mangan's backing band. His drummer took the position of lead guitarist and sang songs about sorrow, love and staying drunk with a beautifully full and clear voice. Dan Mangan joined them onstage only to sit behind the drum kit and show us how many years in the music industry can make you very ambidextrous in terms of instruments. Anyway, by the end of their set, they had the entire venue singing to him {a very common occurrence this night}.

Walking onstage after a brief intermission was another 3-piece band that goes by the name of The Burning Hell- I'm quite sure that by this point, everyone in the church was aware of the fantastic irony. They filled the half hour with ukulele, glockenspiel and cello filled songs about the tragic (fictional) death of a friend in the Yukon, dinosaurs and love and loss. Needless to say, The Burning Hell had me smiling from ear to ear and laughing all night with their incredibly witty, dry-humor-esque, pun-filled lyrics. {I'm convinced Mangan's pure love for the art of puns was a huge deciding factor as to why they were added to the bill}. The lead singer, Mathias Kom, was pure charm in a hilarious self-deprecating type of way, that was endearing instead of annoying. I strongly suggest you listen to their music.

Having already been filled with so much fantastic music already, I was shaking with anticipation to hear Dan play. If you want to read about how I first fell in love with this man {and his music}, you can read this.

There was so much about his performance that had my mind reeling at how I was going to write it down and tell you lovely people about it.

He opened with an energetic, fast, hard-hitting version of Sold. Which was followed by an introduction to a new song called Post-War Depression, a heart pulsing song about the causes and repercussions of war. I was surprised to hear a new edge in Dan's voice and music. Throughout the night he played favorites like the humble love song You Silly Git, a robust version of Road Regrets, the ode to his hometown Vancouver Tina's Glorious Comeback and the beautifully simplistic The Indie Queens Are Waiting - which was dedicated to local Calgarian and avid arts supporter Trevor Smith. The show wouldn't feel complete without the band leaving the stage for a short time to allow Dan to sing Basket. There is a sorrowful sincerity that Dan evokes when he sings this live. The recorded version of the song doesn't quite evoke the same personal story telling as it does when it's solely Dan and his guitar.

As he crooned the crowed with his delicately rough voice, I couldn't help but notice a new maturity to the way he was performing these songs. I'm not saying that in his previous 26 years that his music has been immature, just that there was no longer a younger urgency to the music. It felt like the songs had grown and matured into their own and become these full bodied four minute masterpieces.

Through the musical ups and downs of the songs off of Nice, Nice, Very Nice; Dan and the band performed new songs to our ears like Leaves, Trees, Forests, Rose of Houses and the aforementioned Post-War Depression. It was impossible for any of the concert goers to not notice how the walls of Knox United Church vibrated with Dan's vocals. In Dan's own words:

"You would almost think that this place was made to carry voices..."

The night ended with Mangan performing his most popular song "Robots". Never the shy musician, at one point walking out into the crown and standing on top of the wooden pews. As usual, the entire venue became Mangan's own personal backup choir singing along to the chorus.

A loud, persistent standing ovation enticed Mangan and the band to return to the stage and play a couple more songs for us. Now, ever since seeing him the first time at The Gateway, and having him venture out into the middle of the crowd to sing a completely acoustic version of "So Much For Everyone" I was hopeful that we might be lucky enough to have it happen again. It was just my luck, that with a venue that was built to carry hundreds of voices, my wish came true.

Dan first asked the sound technician to cut all the PAs and the monitors and then invited anyone in the crowd to walk up to the stage and to support him with the Ooouus of the chorus of So Much For Everyone. To hear 800 people singing in magical harmony to this song is nothing short of other-worldly. There is an undeniable connection that happens when people from all different walks of life, meet together over a 4 minute song and share an experience together.

Peas & Luhv,

Brie

Tiny Cameras in Our Mind.

Shot with: Polaroid Pronto! SX-70

Film: Impossible Color Shade PX-70

Location: Okanagan Valley, BC

August 2010

Excuse me miss. Your eyes are leaking.

In a previous thought. Which I deemed important to enough to extract from my brain and write down. I wrote that emotions were in fact just that. Motion. Meant to move you.

In our society, we label anyone who allows liquid to spill from their eyes as weak. We associate them as less than who they should be. Simply because they have tears falling down their cheeks.

What a twisted mentality.

So how can we call it a moment of weakness when something affects us so strongly, that our body - a wondrous, fascinating creation; spills that emotion from our eyes.

We walk, jog or run to a location that is isolated from any other prying eyes to ensure that this moment is hidden from anyone else. Maybe we do this because in society, crying publicly certainly deviates from the normal concept of behavior. Maybe we hide because we fear the inevitable question: "Is everything alright?" A rhetorical question of sorts.

Some people would answer the first question with a false: "Yeah, I'm fine." A response that would seemingly release the person who posed the question from any self-imposed responsibility of caring. In my experience, normally if someone is feeling an emotion strongly enough that their body can't contain that feeling anymore, they normally need to release something more than just tears.

Cross My Fingers and Hope For The Best.

"Then all of a sudden

I heard a note

It started in my chest

And ended in my throat

Then I realized

I was swimming."

Fall Into Change

Shot by Alaina Rescky

The bond between trees and their leaves is becoming weaker.

Weather men and women are replacing words like bright and sunny with brisk and windy.

Scarves and boots will soon replace shorts and sandals.

Mittens will soon be grasping a rainbow array of coffee and tea filled mugs, for people who crave that warm fuzzy feeling in the frost filled mornings.

Fact. Fall is my favorite season. For oh so many reasons. The poplar, birch and maple trees all somehow figure out how to express their brightest colors before they fall to the ground to be forgotten. It's almost like an art exhibit showing for a limited amount of time. Before any crisp winds begin to blow, it's those little guys that tip us off of change to come.

Fall is synonymous with change. It's everywhere you look. The change of colours, the change of mentality, and the change of priorities or goals. For many, shifting from the easy relaxed nature of the summer months, to the down to business mindset of the cooler months is a routine reality. Although, at times I do wish I could live in an endless summer. The fact of the matter is fall brings about a sense of "do" in people.

It is often said that the only constant in life is change. In a constantly shifting world, the only thing we can be sure of is that we are sure of nothing.

It's best to simply fall into change, after all, you can't control it anyway.

Much Love,

Brie

Hello.

How are you doing?

I often wonder how such a loaded question became a meaningless greeting. One which only gains value when asked with the preface; "no, but really..."

An acquaintance of mine once told me about a social experiment he conducted - when asked the question "how are you doing?" he would honestly and truthfully reply. Whether he was having the best of days or the worst. Either way, he was going to be honest and truthfull.

This sparked me into thinking about how so many of our interactions have become devalued. Our words lack meaning. A conversation between two people can become just a matter of going through the motions. Why put so much effort into it when you can find out how that person is by typing their name into a search bar.

Conversation leads to knowledge. Knowledge leads to understanding. Understanding is what we crave.

I will, from this point forward, ask "how are you doing" with the most sincerity.

Peas & Luhv,

Brie