12:03 a.m.

About this time is when the various illuminated tiles of my internet browser no longer hold anything for me. There is no status to be updated, no random fact or favorite song to tweet. Just the deafening silence of nature outside of my window and the sweeping calmness of Debussy's "Reverie".

It's times like these that I find my brain more active than it ever was throughout the previous day. In the pure darkness of night I find myself seeing things that were blurred or unclear in the light of day.

Emotions are just that. Motion. They move you. Move you to curl up the corner of your lips, or move you to close your eyes in the hopes of stopping tears from being shed. We can't stop the inevitable ebb and flow of the rise and fall of our feelings. But how do we find the middle?

For those of us that believe in fate, destiny or kismet. The concept that everything has a purpose and a reason for happening would seemingly almost soothe the constant flux in emotions. However, just because I believe that everything happens for a reason doesn't mean that I will understand it.

This is wherein lies the problem. Understanding.

As naturally curious creatures, we constantly strive to understand things that escape us.

I have found myself wishing that life was like watching a film. Some of us will ask "I don't get it. What does that mean?" in frustrated confusion half way through the movie, but there is a small comfort in knowing that if you just wait another 70 minutes, everything is explained.

Now take your regular 2 hour feature film and expand that approximately 80-90 years and add multiple intertwined story arcs, difficult character development, various antagonists, protagonists, villains and heroes, and of course love, loss, comedy, horror, sadness and ultimately happiness. However, unlike Paramount and Disney's finest, you are met with the fact that it just might not all be explained and understood at the end.

So, I am left just as confused as I was at the beginning. Who knows if this even makes any sense. After all, it is just the ramblings of an overactive mind in the quiet night/morning.

Peas & Luhv,

Brie