twenty-one

I feel the need to start this post with an apology for leaving you so long without any form of reading material flowing from my fingertips. But, that apology would insinuate that there is a large following that relies on my frequent posting. & I am not diluted enough to believe that. Either way, it hasn't been due to a lack of inspiration, but a mere lack of action.

&.&.&

Life makes me laugh more often than not. Serendipity, fate, coincidence or kismet - whatever word you choose to label the instances of a perfect falling into place of your thoughts and the everyday moments of life is your choice.

I bring this up because my most recent vessel of inspiration to write came in the form of Adele's newest album, 21. As I clicked to life the first track - Rumor Has It, I felt a flow of descriptive adjectives bubbling behind my lips. The part of this inspiration that brings me to laugh is that in five days I will be celebrating being alive for twenty-one years. Pretty fitting right?

My twentieth year on this lovely planet has brought me some completely amazing experiences, new relationships, blissful discoveries and endless lessons and growth. I think a great way to summarize my twentieth year is the word love.

I have fallen in love with music more than I ever thought possible thanks to :

Aidan Knight

David Vertesi

Amy Seeley

Michael Bernard Fitzgerald

The Black Keys

We Are The City

Dan Mangan

Yukon Blonde

Any artist who was part of The SHOT AT THE DARK series.

I have opened my heart to the beauty of my lovely hometown - Calgary, through some incredible grass roots initiatives, such as :

{yyc coffee disloyalty program} // {market collective} // {WeLikeWeLove}

My mind has expanded with the growth of my love for my future profession :

Public Relations.

And most importantly, my hearts introduction to the new relationships I have formed with friends & loved ones {which are in fact, the same thing}. The people I have met in my 20th year have inspired, excited, motivated & challenged me. Listing these people would take a significant amount of battery life, but i sincerely hope these people know who they are. If you are reading this, you are more than likely one of them.

So, this post might not have turned into an album review but more of a life review. & I'm alright with that.

Peas & Luhv,

Brie

{a note to a friend}

my dear friend,

Oh, if the world only knew then. How bright this girls smile is, how deep her lovely pondering eyes have penetrated the globe's soul. Or, how her words add unmeasurable beauty to this world.

It's your birthday today.

I hope you wake up knowing how much the world loves you. You have given so much to the people who walk this planet, & you deserve any and all good things that make their way to you.

Throughout the day, I hope memories both good and bad knock on your door and visit. They will tell you their stories of how they have shaped the woman you are today.

And in the evening, let the serene darkness show you how endless your future will be. You have the power to de-rail your train and lay new tracks wherever necessary. Live in the present of the moment you are in. Unwrap it's delicate ribbon and smile from the heart at whatever is inside.

It's your birthday today.

Mile Markers

There are certain moments in everyones life that have a profound effect on shaping who they will become in the future. These moments are mile markers on the the winding highway of life.

Your asphalt might lead you through beautiful valleys only to turn a switchback corner onto a desolate stretch of road with only the horizon in sight. But you can trust that along the way, there will always be solitary metal or wooden signs skirting the road that will act as breadcrumbs to remind you of where you came from.

My earliest, most significant crumb came in a shape of a thick brown paper square, it felt sturdy and smooth, the artwork was abstract and almost childlike and it sounded, my gosh it sounded like a stand-up bass and a weeping cello. It sang about the misconceptions, tribulations and harsh honesty of a floundering relationship.

What I am to you, you do not need.
What I am to you, is not what you mean to me.
You give me miles and miles of mountains, and i'll ask for the sea.

Damien Rice's album "O" changed my life at the age of 13. The song volcano sank me deep into a solitary space of beauty and wonder. Being too young to fully understand the intricately woven poetics of the songwriting, I was simply drawn to the raw melancholic honesty. The easiest way I could ever explain the experience was that the music spoke to me in a language that I neither fully understood, nor needed to understand.

Each track off the record is an earth shattering emotional blow directly to the center of your soul. & 7 years later, the sound of the timid oboe opening on "Cheers Darlin' " still makes me yield control of what I am doing - only to make me close my eyes and smile.

This record also gracefully introduced me to the smoky, soft voice of Lisa Hannigan. In a seemingly perfect marriage, Damien and Lisa vocals have a undeniably magic to them.

I am still dumbfounded and left speechless at the effect that music has on me. Ok Go's lead singer, Damian Kulash said it best

"Music was the perfect bottling of lightning: A powerful experience could be packaged in plastic and then bought and sold."

I can't say that this record will have or has had the same effect on you, only you can feel what makes your soul ache in the most perfect way. I am just forever thankful for the time, effort, heart and soul that was generously poured into this work of musical art. I would not be who I am today if it weren't for that solitary mile marker.

Peas & Luhv,

Brie

*This rambling of my brain was inspired by the music and grace of Amy Seeley, who's beautiful song "Mile Marker" is linked at the beginning of this post.

Insert Title Here.

Have you ever titled something before it was fully written? Or tried to fully develop an introduction to something that has yet to be completed?

I sometimes find it odd that we have been taught to be able to title something before we have even fully understood what it is that we have as a whole.

At the tender age of 20 {soon to be 21} I feel as though the rest of my life is dependent on every single choice I make. Maybe not menial, daily decisions {ie: Do I order this third coffee?} But as each day speeds past, I feel as though there is this immeasurable weight pressing down on my shoulders, tapping on my cheek saying : "when are you going to make things happen?"

. . .

I once read somewhere:

"Some of the most fascinating 40 year olds I know still don't know what they want to be when they grow up."

It isn't so much that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

I know who I want to be.

Some days I need convincing that those two things will always be intrinsically tied together. But I am still trying to figure so much of it out.

I find a lot of the figuring for me comes from pianos, guitars, drums, basses, violins, strings and voices. I'm off to another show.

Peas, Luhv & figuring out,

Brieanne

A Place Built To Carry Voices

As I drove home, there was a warm orange aura that seemed to be hugging Calgary. In actuality, it's the combination of the light snow dust falling all across Calgary and the thousands of twinkling house lights that turn our sky a soothing shade of orange. Metaphorically, I think the city is being hugged by this warm aura because of the massive amount of love radiating out of Knox United Church.

The pews of the United church creaked and cracked while mitten, toque and winter jacket clad Calgarians filed their way into their seats. For some, this would be their first time experiencing a live show from the wooden seats of the holy establishment. However, for me, I was lucky enough to know just what the old vaulted ceilings had in store for me.

A three-piece band named The Crackling began the flood of amazing music. The band actually consists of 3 of the 4 members of Mangan's backing band. His drummer took the position of lead guitarist and sang songs about sorrow, love and staying drunk with a beautifully full and clear voice. Dan Mangan joined them onstage only to sit behind the drum kit and show us how many years in the music industry can make you very ambidextrous in terms of instruments. Anyway, by the end of their set, they had the entire venue singing to him {a very common occurrence this night}.

Walking onstage after a brief intermission was another 3-piece band that goes by the name of The Burning Hell- I'm quite sure that by this point, everyone in the church was aware of the fantastic irony. They filled the half hour with ukulele, glockenspiel and cello filled songs about the tragic (fictional) death of a friend in the Yukon, dinosaurs and love and loss. Needless to say, The Burning Hell had me smiling from ear to ear and laughing all night with their incredibly witty, dry-humor-esque, pun-filled lyrics. {I'm convinced Mangan's pure love for the art of puns was a huge deciding factor as to why they were added to the bill}. The lead singer, Mathias Kom, was pure charm in a hilarious self-deprecating type of way, that was endearing instead of annoying. I strongly suggest you listen to their music.

Having already been filled with so much fantastic music already, I was shaking with anticipation to hear Dan play. If you want to read about how I first fell in love with this man {and his music}, you can read this.

There was so much about his performance that had my mind reeling at how I was going to write it down and tell you lovely people about it.

He opened with an energetic, fast, hard-hitting version of Sold. Which was followed by an introduction to a new song called Post-War Depression, a heart pulsing song about the causes and repercussions of war. I was surprised to hear a new edge in Dan's voice and music. Throughout the night he played favorites like the humble love song You Silly Git, a robust version of Road Regrets, the ode to his hometown Vancouver Tina's Glorious Comeback and the beautifully simplistic The Indie Queens Are Waiting - which was dedicated to local Calgarian and avid arts supporter Trevor Smith. The show wouldn't feel complete without the band leaving the stage for a short time to allow Dan to sing Basket. There is a sorrowful sincerity that Dan evokes when he sings this live. The recorded version of the song doesn't quite evoke the same personal story telling as it does when it's solely Dan and his guitar.

As he crooned the crowed with his delicately rough voice, I couldn't help but notice a new maturity to the way he was performing these songs. I'm not saying that in his previous 26 years that his music has been immature, just that there was no longer a younger urgency to the music. It felt like the songs had grown and matured into their own and become these full bodied four minute masterpieces.

Through the musical ups and downs of the songs off of Nice, Nice, Very Nice; Dan and the band performed new songs to our ears like Leaves, Trees, Forests, Rose of Houses and the aforementioned Post-War Depression. It was impossible for any of the concert goers to not notice how the walls of Knox United Church vibrated with Dan's vocals. In Dan's own words:

"You would almost think that this place was made to carry voices..."

The night ended with Mangan performing his most popular song "Robots". Never the shy musician, at one point walking out into the crown and standing on top of the wooden pews. As usual, the entire venue became Mangan's own personal backup choir singing along to the chorus.

A loud, persistent standing ovation enticed Mangan and the band to return to the stage and play a couple more songs for us. Now, ever since seeing him the first time at The Gateway, and having him venture out into the middle of the crowd to sing a completely acoustic version of "So Much For Everyone" I was hopeful that we might be lucky enough to have it happen again. It was just my luck, that with a venue that was built to carry hundreds of voices, my wish came true.

Dan first asked the sound technician to cut all the PAs and the monitors and then invited anyone in the crowd to walk up to the stage and to support him with the Ooouus of the chorus of So Much For Everyone. To hear 800 people singing in magical harmony to this song is nothing short of other-worldly. There is an undeniable connection that happens when people from all different walks of life, meet together over a 4 minute song and share an experience together.

Peas & Luhv,

Brie

Tiny Cameras in Our Mind.

Shot with: Polaroid Pronto! SX-70

Film: Impossible Color Shade PX-70

Location: Okanagan Valley, BC

August 2010

Excuse me miss. Your eyes are leaking.

In a previous thought. Which I deemed important to enough to extract from my brain and write down. I wrote that emotions were in fact just that. Motion. Meant to move you.

In our society, we label anyone who allows liquid to spill from their eyes as weak. We associate them as less than who they should be. Simply because they have tears falling down their cheeks.

What a twisted mentality.

So how can we call it a moment of weakness when something affects us so strongly, that our body - a wondrous, fascinating creation; spills that emotion from our eyes.

We walk, jog or run to a location that is isolated from any other prying eyes to ensure that this moment is hidden from anyone else. Maybe we do this because in society, crying publicly certainly deviates from the normal concept of behavior. Maybe we hide because we fear the inevitable question: "Is everything alright?" A rhetorical question of sorts.

Some people would answer the first question with a false: "Yeah, I'm fine." A response that would seemingly release the person who posed the question from any self-imposed responsibility of caring. In my experience, normally if someone is feeling an emotion strongly enough that their body can't contain that feeling anymore, they normally need to release something more than just tears.